Darcy (aeauna) wrote in theorangerant,

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Ahem, so.... Here's my story. Eh, late. Where to start?

Beginning, right?

So, once upon a time, I liked a guy. (GASP!, right?) Like, with hearts and stuff. (Embarassing, really, but there you are.) So, what to do next? I'd learned before that sitting and waiting isn't always the best option. So.... I call in Goldi for advice.

(In hindsight, that may not have been the best of ideas.)

So, after much consideration, he came up with the following plan: Flirt for about a month, then ask him out.

This sounds good, but it turns out to have one major flaw.

I do not know how to flirt.

So I call Goldi again.

After much deliberation (read: yelling) on both parts, the new plan is put forth: Do it yourself! (Later changed to "Do it yourself, bitch," because "bitch" really is a fun word.)

But because I am not a Gryffindor, it still doesn't quite work. Eventually Goldi decides that enough is enough, and starts threatening actual physical violence. (Pfah, I say! As if he's not constantly at the beach.)

But I figure I'd do it anyway.

The next day, I fail. A lot. I try but... we end up talking about band instead. (Oh, yeah, if you don't know who I'm talking about, too bad for you! xP ) It was actually rather depressing.

So, the next day I try again. I've even got an internal Rent-A-Gryff. Well, I found an inner Gryffindor to visit for a bit. "How hard can it be?" he says. (I notice he looks suspiciously like Goldi.)

I non-chalantly walk up to (ambush) him in the hallway. "So...." I say. (I'm so smooth.)

"So?" says he.

Then I spring on him my highly subtle way of finding out if he's seeing anyone yet.

"Are you seeing anybody?"

As I congratulate myself on my superior tact and cunning, he ponders this.


"Will you go out with me?"

"I'll think about it," he replies.

I flee.


Well, I've got to get an answer, right? I figure the hard part's been done, even if the answer's no, I can't avoid it forever.

So I'll walk with Kaff-winn to class, 'cause his AC is near there. (See ulterior motives, p. 364.) Unfortunately, on the way...

Inner Gryff: Yays! Goin' on an adventure!

Inner Slytherins: *plotplotplot* must preserve self.... must destroy gryff....

I'm afraid you'll have to click here....

Inner Gryff: *is ded.*

Umly's head: *feels light*

Me: Urgh... I'll think I'll go back now. Bye, Kaff-winn! *flees*

So no answer that day.

Flash forward about TWO BLOODY WEEKS. (By this time I'm thinking I've lost my mind and I halucinated the whole thing. "Excuse me, have you seen my mind?" I ask. "It's about this big, pink, kinda squishy?" How do you ask someone if you asked them out?)

Anyway, I wait until he's alone after lunch and walk reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaalllly slooooooowly 'til he catches up.

"Did you ever answer my question?" I ask.

"No, I didn't... I couldn't bring myself to do it." That doesn't bode well, my inner me says. Well, the inner me that isn't screaming on the ground in pain.

"So that's a no, then?"

"Yeah... you're just too good of a friend." Pfft, my inner me says. We are not that close. But it's okay, by this time I'm just relieved that I'm no less sane than I ever was.

I'd like to appologize for any major grammatical errors, which I blame on Goldi for rushing me. And I dedicate it to everyone lacking an inner Gryff.
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What, no "Thanks to Max for fixing my janky-bootlegged-credit-card animation"?
Katie loves your animation, by the way. She says she's devastated delighted by it.

And yes, you can tell where the Max part is. It's... obvious o.o;

And... *hug from Lem*?

If it makes you feel any better, I don't think I've held a conversation with him (EVER) that didn't have something to do with band. So... maybe that's his favorite conversation topic?

Hmm. Lem would like to insert some super-spiffy advice here, but she doesn't have any. :\

Maybe Donell doesn't want to date. Like... it's not about you kinda thing. The trumpet section was trying to pair him up with Chelsea his freshie year (matchmaker trumpets... heh) and he refused. So...

And "Yays! Goin' on an adventure!" and a pic of your inner Gryff would make a great LJ icon. Or... maybe I'm the only one who thinks so.
Pah! I do not need your pity!

Goldi loved the animation, too.

I rather like Max's bit. I couldn't make the replay button myself, so I got him to do it for me. But when I changed it to how I wanted it... I was wrong. But I still like it. (PRIDE!)

And we've talked about other things... like GSA and posters and how once he had a stalker and had to have a restraining order put on him.... (okay, we didn't discuss the last one so much as he mentioned it in passing.)

Yeah, I can kinda see him not really wanting to date. But I prefer the theory that he's secretly gay. Donell+John=awww. (eh, maybe that's just me. But it's really amusing to muse over which one would be the effiminate one.)
I was rather unaware that I offered any pity. A hug, yes. A pathetic little attempt at love advice, yes. But pity?

Johnell doesn't strike me as a good pairing, but maybe that's just me. o.o;
Eh, it felt like pity at the time. And I felt like saying, "Pah! I do not need your pity!"

Ahahaha, Johnell. Greatest word ever. Thank you.

And I have theories about a lot of guys being gay. Donell, Goldi (lots of twisted-around evidence for that one), my brother....