Darcy (aeauna) wrote in theorangerant,

  • Mood:
  • Music:


Ahem, so.... Here's my story. Eh, late. Where to start?

Beginning, right?

So, once upon a time, I liked a guy. (GASP!, right?) Like, with hearts and stuff. (Embarassing, really, but there you are.) So, what to do next? I'd learned before that sitting and waiting isn't always the best option. So.... I call in Goldi for advice.

(In hindsight, that may not have been the best of ideas.)

So, after much consideration, he came up with the following plan: Flirt for about a month, then ask him out.

This sounds good, but it turns out to have one major flaw.

I do not know how to flirt.

So I call Goldi again.

After much deliberation (read: yelling) on both parts, the new plan is put forth: Do it yourself! (Later changed to "Do it yourself, bitch," because "bitch" really is a fun word.)

But because I am not a Gryffindor, it still doesn't quite work. Eventually Goldi decides that enough is enough, and starts threatening actual physical violence. (Pfah, I say! As if he's not constantly at the beach.)

But I figure I'd do it anyway.

The next day, I fail. A lot. I try but... we end up talking about band instead. (Oh, yeah, if you don't know who I'm talking about, too bad for you! xP ) It was actually rather depressing.

So, the next day I try again. I've even got an internal Rent-A-Gryff. Well, I found an inner Gryffindor to visit for a bit. "How hard can it be?" he says. (I notice he looks suspiciously like Goldi.)

I non-chalantly walk up to (ambush) him in the hallway. "So...." I say. (I'm so smooth.)

"So?" says he.

Then I spring on him my highly subtle way of finding out if he's seeing anyone yet.

"Are you seeing anybody?"

As I congratulate myself on my superior tact and cunning, he ponders this.


"Will you go out with me?"

"I'll think about it," he replies.

I flee.


Well, I've got to get an answer, right? I figure the hard part's been done, even if the answer's no, I can't avoid it forever.

So I'll walk with Kaff-winn to class, 'cause his AC is near there. (See ulterior motives, p. 364.) Unfortunately, on the way...

Inner Gryff: Yays! Goin' on an adventure!

Inner Slytherins: *plotplotplot* must preserve self.... must destroy gryff....

I'm afraid you'll have to click here....

Inner Gryff: *is ded.*

Umly's head: *feels light*

Me: Urgh... I'll think I'll go back now. Bye, Kaff-winn! *flees*

So no answer that day.

Flash forward about TWO BLOODY WEEKS. (By this time I'm thinking I've lost my mind and I halucinated the whole thing. "Excuse me, have you seen my mind?" I ask. "It's about this big, pink, kinda squishy?" How do you ask someone if you asked them out?)

Anyway, I wait until he's alone after lunch and walk reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaalllly slooooooowly 'til he catches up.

"Did you ever answer my question?" I ask.

"No, I didn't... I couldn't bring myself to do it." That doesn't bode well, my inner me says. Well, the inner me that isn't screaming on the ground in pain.

"So that's a no, then?"

"Yeah... you're just too good of a friend." Pfft, my inner me says. We are not that close. But it's okay, by this time I'm just relieved that I'm no less sane than I ever was.

I'd like to appologize for any major grammatical errors, which I blame on Goldi for rushing me. And I dedicate it to everyone lacking an inner Gryff.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic